It was an October evening, the rain was soft, the crisp smell of suburban garbage and soggy orange leaves took me back to my childhood. A better time. Just as I settled, mentally, into my baggy knit sweater cupping steaming chamomile, two Crown Vics rolled up to my driveway, and out spilled four cops. A few crushed leaves and closed car doors later, and they're telling me I'm under arrest. I shake my head and mutter "damn Raphael..."

Its an hour later. I've just finished my phone call to Brown White & Osborn, limited liability partnership, and I head back into the halogenically overbright interrogation room. I sit back on the metal chair with the impression of a posterior on it's seat. I wonder... "whose underside did they press into plaster to make this mold? Have they enlarged the buttprint to account for the obesity epidemic?" The room smells like 5-o'clock shadow, and the last dredges of the kind of coffee they make in 10 gallon batches - like a swamp - if swamps smoked cigarettes. Two cops in front of me, leaning on their elbows - one black, one white - both obstetricians in what is certainly an abortion of justice.

They jabber and cajole at me for an hour, I don't budge, I tell them I'm not saying anything till I see my lawyer. The door bursts open, two suited men , 6 oz of pomade, and 12 combined years of cigar and brandy residue with fast-talks and legal chops walk in to the interrogation room. My lawyers. They unleash a legal barrage at 250 words per minute, the cops are stunned. My lawyers shoo them out of the room, tails between their legs. It's a fine day indeed.

Suffice to say I was out in 15 minutes tops, gifted with my own travel-sized hair-gel squeeze bottle, and a signed letter of apology from the Sheriff and the DA to boot. It was time to see Raphael.

Andrew Beechko is unprofessional and has quite a temper. Their office rarely returns calls and I have witnessed him have childish outbursts. He participated/ assisted in the severe parental alienation of three minors,who are now psychologically damaged. I have witnessed him lying in court on several occasions and seems to be two faced. Saying one thing, then doing another. If you ever have the misfortune of dealing with guardianship/ probate court/ anything involving your children, expect it to be like pulling teeth getting this man or anybody from his office to get back to you.

Was kind and helpfull

They had a man talk to my 14 year old granddaughter about problems with her guardians. Instead of asking her questions, the man just told her to obey. Besides that I was not treated like a human being. I was very disappointed with them, especially because the court trusts these people with our children. I would not hire them or recommend them.

Eh